Hot Dog In The Morning

Breakfast food is just so mundane. Eggs. Bacon. Pancakes. Porkroll.  I like that stuff only when served in a restaurant. With a Mimosa. By somebody who is not me. I am not standing in front of the stove and cooking those items for myself. Cooking always leads to cleaning up and cleaning up leads to washing dishes and washing dishes leads to drying dishes and...you know the drill.

My favorite breakfast food is one that can be purchased, fully prepared, over the counter at the WaWa or Subway or some other very convenient convenience store. But my very favorite "on the go" breakfast is a hot dog. With onions and mustard and relish. At 8 o'clock in the morning!! From my local WaWa.

What the heck is WaWa, you say?? 

Click here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wawa_Food_Markets

Two things keep me from enjoying a frequent hot dog breakfast: 1) Not all WaWa's have their hot dogs grilling that early in the morning and 2) the little "situation" I have with high cholesterol.

So...the eggs and bacon and pancakes, etc. are pretty much off limits for me these days. And who cares? I have had a lifetime of those things. But, can one ever get enough of hot dogs in the morning? I feel so bereft in the absence of my beloved doggies and their accompanying condiments.

In fact, all of my fav breakfast foods are off limits. No Tuna Subs. No pizza. No Chocolate ice cream with chocolate sprinkles. No Philly Cheesesteaks. Add to that the no smoking rule my lungs have imposed upon me and the result is pretty bleak. I am forced to believe the old adage that everything I love is either illegal, immoral or fattening. 

(Sometimes all three at once) 

 

But that was not my predominant thought at the beginning of this tirade. I was focusing on breakfast hot dogs. Hot and juicy and riotously tasty. And just bad on every level of the food pyramid.  In fact, so bad that I should be embarrassed to admit that I am so enamored of them. Not. I sing their praises! I worship the ground they sizzle on. I drool at the thought of them. I fantasize taking a slow, savoring bite and swallowing with relish. Or just mustard. Whatever.

Give me hot dogs or give me death. Um, wait. Death is the reason I am avoiding my beloved hot dogs to begin with so...I guess this is goodbye, my sweet. Parting is not a "sweet" sorrow. It's just a sorrow. 

Life is Like A Bottle Of Chocolate Vodka-You never know what you're gonna do

Seriously, I am so tired of food.  Especially of the type that I'm supposed to prepare. There is no satisfaction in boiling chicken or steaming broccoli.

There is no joy in a seafood product shaped like a stick or a square tile. It's like only using a brown crayon. Unfortunately, because of the medical condition of the people in my home (including myself) this is what I'm reduced to putting out on a regular basis.One of these days, cholesterol be damned, I'm going to completely lose all control and throw a steak on the grill! (my apologies if I've insulted any vegans-don't hate). But until that day arrives,   Food is boooorrrriiiinnnngggg.

So, why do I look this way? What way? Like an entry into the Macy's Thanksgiving parade!!!

 INFLATED!!

Must be the air in this town. Or maybe its the water. Or maybe its the thirty or so snacks a day that I have to gorge on  in an attempt to satisfy my soul, which is starving for depth and substance.

If I didn't begin and end every day with Vodka, it wouldn't even be worth the effort to get up in the morning. Unless you count having to go out and earn a paycheck.  Luckily, Vodka is very exciting these days. It comes in so many fun flavors, a person could sail right through a life of alcoholism without the threat of boredom. Unlike the chicken and broccoli diet, Vodka is diverse and tasty.

The day begins so smoothly with a strawberry smoothie perked up with a shot or two of Whipped Cream Vodka.

The evening comes to a floating fade with a banana smoothie embellished with a portion each of Chocolate Devil's Food Vodka and Banana Vodka.


And in between? Whipped Cream Vodka in your Chai Latte. Raspberry Vodka on your sugar free vanilla ice cream. Espresso Vodka with your biscotti.  Don't be greedy here, chose one or the other for each sitting. (one from column A, one from column B)

It would seem that Vodka is a totally healthy food product. It contains, no sugar, carbs, cholesterol, trans fats or red dye # 2. So I won't cry over the forbidden milk. I'll just vodka my beverages and enjoy lowering my cholesterol.

Hubby is enjoying our new guilty pleasure as well. Except  he pretends he doesn't know  I have spiked his smoothie with a few good shots of Stoli Strasberi. He only knows that its the best strawberry smoothie he's ever had and can't wait until the  smoothie ritual each evening. He enjoys his secret little buzz, so I don't burst his bubble by pushing the truth. Truth is so over-rated anyway. Isn't it?

So the other day, I discover a way to make a nice aperitif out of my dinner salad.

Life is full of pleasant surprises!