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Bunglin' Bundy

Bunglin' Bundy
Hail the King of Mediocrity!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

A Rant Not About YOU WHO ARE HIDDEN FROM MY WRATH

I'm ranting here because, god dammit, everybody gets on my nerves.
Oh, no no no no no!! Not you. Come back here.
I'm talking about these people I can see and hear and god help them if I ever decide to touch them. Some days a healthy dose of Grey Goose is the only thing that keeps me out of jail.
There is a driver at my job who is on "light duty", (which is a euphemism for "I am a pussy") and is doing some kind of a first grade project for the DDS manager that involves the intellectually tiring job of putting a piece of paper into the automatic reversing document feeder (copy machine) and setting it to make 1000 copies. This guy is getting paid $13 an hour for this. Ok, not my busines, is it? That money is NOT coming out of my pocket, is it? No. So I need to mind my own business, don't I?
So, minding my business, I happen to walk past the copy machine where this guy is sitting on his ass waiting for paper to come out of the document processor. He looks up as I pass and says to my back: "Hey, Dory. Bring me two more packs of paper, ok?"
My ego has an ugly mood swing. I turn. I walk back to where he sits. I ask "Is your secretary off today?"
He gives me a throughly confused look and answers "you know I ain't got no secretary".
I say "exactly" and continue the march back to my office.
Ten minutes later, my intercom beeps.
"Yes?" I say in my busier than thou tone of voice.
"Where my paper at?"

Friday, August 3, 2012

Kristen Cheated!! What a Shocker!!!

Written for Group Blogging  Experience

What's so Unexpected?


So  Kristen Stewart cheated on her ugly ass boyfriend. And this is a shocking bit of news why? Was it really unexpected? From the moment TMZ or Perez or even the AOL news page announces a new celebrity coupling, isn't it just a countdown to who is gonna cheat on who? Seriously, there hasn't been an actual shocking "somebody did somebody wrong" story since Liz stole Eddie from Debbie. (and that was so long ago, most people have no clue what I'm talking about)

People who can easily afford to indulge their every fantasy, indulge them. Who wouldn't? Hasn't every little girl wanted to get married in a castle in merry old England? Especially the first marriage. That life long fantasy has got to materialize at the earliest opportunity. Who knows? There may only be a couple more chances to get the wedding right.

Even after the dream wedding and the fantasy honeymoon and the"baby bump" celebration, the Hollywood love birds manage to find other nests to roost in. No matter that the bird in their own nest is uncommonly beautiful, sublimely intelligent and impossibly talented, the DoDo in the nest across the canyon is looking pretty alluring. In Hollywood, the philosophy is: "if I see it and I want it, I must have it".  And so it goes.

The next thing you know the scandal rags in the grocery stores are shouting out  CELEBRITY X CHEATING ON CELEBRITY Y. And its supposed to be a be surprise?

What is really unexpected are the untold stories of longevity and fidelity in Hollywood marriages/relationships.

One of the most surprising of the long lasting show biz marriages is Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne. Seriously, who else could put up with these two? And for almost 30 years!!  Sharon actually STOLE the Prince of Dementia from his first wife. I'm sure whoever SHE was is thanking her lucky stars today!

The recently departed Andy Griffith and his wife Cindi were married for 28 years. They made the very smart decision to live in North Carolina instead of  Hollywood, CA so maybe that was a boon to this union. She was 30 years younger than Andy and that can't hurt, either.

Sheriff Andy has be bested by little Opie in the long lasting marriage arena. Ron Howard has been married for 36 years to his wife Cheryl. They married when Opie, I mean RON, was 21 years old and still bopping his way through "Happy Days". Happy Days indeed.

And People...are you all shocked that Bret Michaels and his girlfriend of 18 years have split? I guess if your mate were out looking for another mate on national television you'd finally get a clue, too.   The Rock Of  Love has crumbled. And the unexpected aspect of the situation is that she put up with him for 18 years.